March 18, 2017

The labels we give ourselves

It is often said that we are our own harshest critics. And I know that this saying resonates with me  a 100%. Growing up, I heard a lot of very negative words that were directed towards me. And these words had an impact. I was told I was selfish, arrogant, stubborn, stupid, self-centered and disgusting. I was body shamed with labels such as fat, pudgy, porky, balloon, ugly. School was the worst since girls are never very kind to one another, especially as teenagers. Everywhere I went, I heard more labels, until I started to see myself as others saw me - started to hate myself, my personality, my sense of identity and of course, my body. Labels have the power to really stick. They tend to corrode the positive sense of esteem and replace it with a darkness that is very hard to shake off. It has taken me almost all my life to do so. 

My labels revolved around the notion that I thought to great of myself, and so needed to be put in my place, or brought a few notches down. Maybe the people who directed these words at me thought that it would do me good. Maybe it was their way of defending their own self esteems and egos. Either way, it led to the creation of a mistrust, and a low self esteem that was masked by an outgoing personality. 

Words that are physically demeaning are even worse, because they can really be damaging to your confidence, and self image. I have spoken about my body image issues before, and it has taken the better part of my life to accept myself.

I am sure you have been subject to this labeling as well. And I would love to hear what you did to reject them and be happy in who you are, not what others think you are.

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